12/12/12 - Leah and Dr. Suess

Leah's pin - BSN from UNC Chapel Hill

Family attending pinning

12/12/12.  Triple number date won't happen again until January 1, 2101 -  01/01/01 - a whopping 81 years away!   There are many special days, not just ones that have unique numbers.  Sunday was a very special day in our family.  Leah graduated with a BSN from UNC-Chapel Hill.  When you graduate with a nursing degree you get pinned.  Actually, UNC's commencement is not until next Sunday which is somewhat of an inconvenience having the 2 graduation ceremonies a week a part, but Jim and I would not miss either one for the world.  We, along with Jim Jim, Mama Patsy, James, Laura, Clark, Granddaddy, Lauren, Uncle Kecky and Aunt Girlie were there to celebrate and witness Leah's pinning in Memorial Hall on UNC's campus.  The Dean of the Nursing School opened with a speech informing us that UNC's nursing school was the fourth best nursing program in the USA.  Missed being number one by one tenth of one point!   We are terribly proud that Leah is a graduate of such a fine institution!

Since graduation from college marks a new beginning, I have been thinking about Leah and what life story she will be telling in this next phase.  I am confident that she will end up in a great place - where she needs to be  - even though there will be some breath holding while waiting for that job offer!

Leah is my middle child.  Middle children are typically the peace makers and I think that kind of suits Leah.  She doesn't like drama.  She doesn't talk about people unless it is kind.   I got to thinking, "What would best describe Leah as an asset for being a nurse."  So many different descriptions - honest, kind, compassionate, intelligent, steady, intuitive, a hard worker, a quiet,    

Leah and Summer

Leah, Lauren, Alesha and Anne

effective leader - a peace maker.  Nothing ruffles her feathers.  She never toots her horn and she is always there for her friends.  In high school, her friends called her Mama Leah.  Just the other day, Summer, her nursing classmate and roommate said "Leah is like my Mama".  She always has her friends backs - still the same old Leah!  And Leah is loved!  Marta says that you are who you are when you are 5.  It's true.  When Leah was 5, I came to pick her up from her room at Kid's Place preschool.  She was sitting in Miss Pat's lap and had been crying.  Pat apologized to me and said she had to remove Leah from her friends because Alesha, Laura and Adrienne were fist fighting over who was going to sit beside Leah!  Miss Pat said that it didn't dawn on her that removing Leah from group was punishing the wrong girl!  Leah got to sit in Miss Pat's lap and get hugs which was the perfect cure for the girl who was punished for being loved by her friends! 

Leah 5 years old

Every year when Jim and I would go for parent conferences, the very first thing the teacher would say is "Everybody loves Leah".  I mean year after year, teacher after teacher - they all would say, "Everybody loves Leah.  She is friends with everyone."  Maybe that is why she was crowned homecoming queen her senior year. 

Leah and Lisa

Leah, Laura and James

College doesn't look like things have changed because on Sunday at the pinning, I met Leah's nursing professor, Lisa.  Lisa grabbed Leah and pointed to her and said "I love this girl.  I. LOVE. THIS. GIRL!"   That made this mama beam! Lisa was voted by students to give the faculty speech.  She gave a shout out to Leah in her speech (anonymously) and used the philosopher, Dr. Suess and his wisdom to give the graduates parting advice.  It was so fitting!  As Leah continues the story of her life, I thought this particular Dr. Suess quote sums up what I want to say to her!....

“You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Crunch Week

When you are in the thick of it, applying to colleges can be a full time job .  Deadlines hang over your head.  You have to juggle applications, ask teachers for recommendations, ask guidance counselors to send transcripts all the while keeping up with your school work and outside activities.  The hardest part might be trying to write essays that grab the attention of the admissions counselors.  They view thousands of well deserving students' applications so your essays can be what sets you apart from the rest.

UNC Chapel Hill Old Well

Like most UNC Chapel Hill applicants, Dawn struggled to find the best prompt to describe herself.  I could have written an essay about Dawn from every prompt given because I was the experienced outsider.  There were 5 prompts to choose from.  One of the UNC Chapel Hill's prompts was:  "Tell us about a time when you failed. How did you react? What if anything did you learn?"  Dawn did not feel she could write about this because she did not feel she had failed.  I kind of laughed to myself but I REALLY understood what she meant - for all practical purposes, she hadn't failed - she had succeeded despite all her obstacles!  Another prompt was: "Tell us about a time when you struggled to convince someone of something you believed to be right. How did the process go? What was the end result?"  Dawn's first reaction to this prompt was she was a coward for not standing up to her parents, therefore, she couldn't use that one.  I said YES you can, Dawn!  Metaphorically, you stood up to them by becoming a success!  And that is the one Dawn chose.

We made plans to meet at Burns at various times over the next week.  Dawn had been given a laptop that needed some repairs so I would bring mine with me for her to use while hers was being repaired (or so I thought it was being repaired).  Mine was an Apple.  She was a PC snob so she felt like she

Dawn taking break from essays to work on Spanish project

was using an inferior laptop.  I knew better and besides she couldn't be picky.  We spent as much time at school as we could but Dawn needed access to internet and a laptop outside of school and I couldn't go without mine, so Jim gave Dawn his laptop to use at school and home during this crunch week.

Dawn would write an essay, we would read it out loud, talk about how to make it better and Dawn would edit and check for all the details like character numbers, spell check, etc.  There must have been 10 essays or more that first week that Dawn wrote.  Most of the prompts in the NC State and common application were more direct like, tell us obstacles that you overcame.  Those were easier for Dawn to write about.  It felt like we were cramming for a college exam and she was a trooper to stick with it.

Dawn made it clear that she did not study or work on weekends.  They were for sleeping since she got little during the week.  I understood that, but being her senior year, I told her she might have to nudge a little on that strict rule.  October 15th was deadline for UNC and NC State applications which happened to fall on a Saturday.  Determined to send applications off on Friday before Saturday deadline, we spent many hours that week which included all day Thursday writing and editing.  Luckily, Thursday night was parent's night at Burns so school was open until 7:00 p.m.  We found an empty room and got busy trying to wrap up the week's work.  I went and got us take-out from Subway and Dawn worked relentlessly until we were satisfied with her essays.  Dawn submitted those 2 college applications and we checked those off the list.  It felt good!

NC State

I was emotionally exhausted after the week's work and I had fallen in love with this child.  I would leave Dawn alone to write and I would walk the halls and go to the bathroom and cry.  I ran in to June and she pulled me in to a closet and we cried together.  I wondered if Dawn knew that I was crying.  I was hoping I was performing an academy award winning performance as I would walk back in to the room she was working, trying to keep it together.  There was still a lot of work to do but we needed a well deserved break.  We said goodbye and made plans to meet the next week.

I was encouraging her to submit applications to more than 4 colleges.  She had 4 free vouchers so she felt like 4 was a good number but I told her that I would pay for the 5th, 6th, etc. if there were some colleges she was interested in.  I wanted her to have more options.  She was bucking the idea.

Warren Wilson College Farm

With UNC and NC State's applications submitted, she decided that Davidson and Warren Wilson were the other 2 she wanted to apply.  Davidson is a superb small liberal arts school that is extremely tough to get in.  A major reason Dawn chose Davidson is because they have a huge endowment and provide 100% need based scholarships.  That is very important and necessary for someone like Dawn.  Warren Wilson, as far as we could tell, did not have comparable financial aid to the other 3 schools, but it is a very unique and beautiful college that Dawn knew about, having lived in Asheville.  I told Dawn if that is where she wanted to go we would work hard to find outside scholarships but my advice to her is the same I always gave my 3 children - do not take out student loans unless there is no other option and do not get married until you are at least 25.

Davidson College

From the four schools that Dawn was applying, I felt  she had a pretty good variety - the large public research universities to small private colleges.  Yet, there was a nagging that would not go away telling me that Dawn needs to apply to Harvard.  I would tell Jim that I really thought she would get in and I was hoping she would listen to me and apply.  Part of the college application process is rejection and disappointment and that is a chance you take, but it is also a part of life.  Maybe Dawn knew that part of life all too well and wasn't interested in doing a lot of work for a "sure" disappointment.  Maybe she was just being practical Dawn and did not want to waste money on such a gamble.  I believed in her so much and I had enough experience to know she had more than a decent chance.  Her story told would convince any school to take a chance on her!

North Carolina's Governor's School

The summer before her senior year, Dawn spent 6 weeks at North Carolina's Governor's School in Raleigh on the campus of Meredith College.  This program is for select rising high school juniors and seniors in the Tar Heel state.  Burns High Principal, Gary and other administrators had taken notice of Dawn’s potential and hard work and encouraged Dawn to apply.  When Dawn was admitted to Governor’s School, they made sure she had everything she needed.  Not only was the Burns community helpful to Dawn, many in the Shelby and Cleveland County communities were too.  A Shelby dentist, Kendalyn, provided Dawn and her brother free dental care and contributed for essentials for her Governor’s School adventure.  Of course, Robyn was there to help Dawn.  They went shopping together and Robyn made sure Dawn had everything she needed and a few things that Robyn wished she just wanted.  School counselor's and teachers use their own money and spend their time off with many needy students who attend their schools and no credit is granted nor is it expected by them.  There are many who wear halos!

Dawn is very proud and frugal and it can be a struggle for Dawn to buy something if it is not a good deal or very much needed no matter who is paying for it.  If Dawn looked at something, Robyn would ask, “do you like it, will you wear it, well then, put it in the cart!”  Robyn was the one who drove Dawn to Raleigh and got her settled in to Governor’s school.  Dawn appreciates everything that Robyn (Dawn addresses her as Mrs.____) does for her.  I heard her say many times.

Dawn thrived in Governor’s school as she was with other

Travel day at Governor's School

students who were also interested in academics.  And she reconnected with Emily, a girl from Hendersonville that she knew from middle school.  Dawn and Emily hung out together at Governor's school and when GS had their "Travel Day", the two girls wore costumes created out of aluminum foil which Dawn is wearing in the photo to the left.  It pleased Dawn that Emily had applied to Davidson, one of the colleges that Dawn had also applied!

A threat was looming that Governor's School would be unfunded due

Dawn's photo from The Star Article

to State budget cuts so Dawn wrote a newspaper article in our local paper (Dawn's article in The Shelby Star) to argue the value of this program.  Unfortunately, the threat was materialized and Governor's School was unfunded and many thought gone for good.  Thankfully the alumnae organized and raised money to fund the program but with a reduced number of participants and also with a tuition fee for the attendees.

Towards the end of Governor’s school, Dawn became aware that something was wrong at home.  Her parents had planned a week trip to Tennessee when Dawn had left for GS but as Dawn tried to reach them and never got through, she realized that they had probably moved away.  Dawn came home from one of the most prestigious summer programs for North Carolina students and found herself homeless and alone.  Dawn “couch hopped” (her term) for a few weeks while the  Burns community took action and found Dawn a place to stay.  Sheryl and Norm opened their home to Dawn.  It was kind of a perfect situation since they lived a 15 minute walk from Burns.  If Dawn ever needed she could get to and from school and work on her own.  Sheryl is a custodian at Burns Middle School and she knew Dawn because she had been friends with her daughter, Amber.   Did I mention that Dawn is also a custodian?  She works as a custodian at Burns High School for 2 hours in the morning before school and 2 hours in the afternoon after school, with time off for club meetings, etc.  The first time Dawn was going to spend the night with me, we went to Sheryl and Norm’s to get her stuff but Norm would not let Dawn go until he got the “OK” from Sheryl.  Norm had not heard of me yet but Sheryl knew that I was helping Dawn with her college applications.  I was so happy that they cared enough to make sure I was legitimate.  Later, as I read one of Dawn’s college essays, I realized even though Sheryl and Norm seemed like a stable home for Dawn, she still had a well known fear that this could all be gone at a drop of a hat.  Dawn longs for stability and not to be dependent on anyone.  Maybe Sheryl and Norm have given Dawn a little taste of what she longs for.  I just have to mention again that Sheryl and Norm have my utmost respect.  I love them for what they have done for Dawn.  Dawn was never put in the foster care system so Sheryl and Norm were not compensated for their efforts except for the joy of helping a very deserving girl.  They are so proud of Dawn and love her very much as I do.  I am glad Sheryl and Norm are my friends.

Dawn doing her homework in her room at Sheryl and Norm's.

"How I Met Your Student"

 I will never forget the day I met Dawn.  Jane escorts me to a conference room at Burns High where I am to meet her.  With Dawn is Robyn the Burns High Counselor and what I consider an angel on this earth for all she does for Dawn (and others!).  Robyn always said that Dawn was her heart child, a child you love but did not have the honor of “raising”.  And now I can honestly say that I understand what Robyn meant because now Dawn is my heart child, too.
My first impression of Dawn was that of a quiet, unimposing, shy girl.  I was handed her transcripts and noticed her GPA, class rank and the number of AP courses.  Burns was Dawn’s 3rd high school, a fact that did not afford her the opportunity to take as many AP classes or have the top class rank as other kids of her intellect.  As a matter of fact, she only had 1 AP course under her belt, AP European History.  She was currently enrolled in 3 more AP classes being her senior year.  While Robyn, Dawn and I were discussing AP classes, Robyn made the comment that she wasn’t sure why students actually needed to take AP European History.  Well, Dawn immediately gave a very well reasoned and insightful answer to that question.  I thought, my goodness, she is an intellectual.

In front of Dawn lay a piece of paper with a list of colleges.  On top were 3 colleges she was considering applying, NC State (Dawn was the Park nominee from Burns), Warren Wilson College and Western Carolina.  At the very bottom of the page she had a few more - UNC Chapel Hill, University of Chicago and maybe University of Wisconsin and a couple more which I assumed were long shots.  Being the high achiever that she is, Dawn commented that she did not think her SAT scores were that good.  Dawn had taken the SAT once and scored 750 on the verbal section and mid 600‘s on math and writing parts - pretty daggone good in my opinion.  (A second attempt landed her with a 790 on verbal.)  I suggested we go online and check out the SAT scores of current UNC Chapel Hill freshmen.  The students at UNC are the very best in the state (and nation) and Dawn saw that her scores were competitive to say the least!

Dawn handed me her AP European teacher’s recommendation letter and asked if I would like to read it.  I could only get through the first page because I could no longer see to read as the tears were welling up and beginning to fall.  Trying very hard to keep it together, I apologized for the emotions in which she responded  “this is the part that made me cry”.   She turned to the 2nd page of the recommendation and read the part where her teacher said he “so admired Dawn” and I said, “Dawn, EVERYONE admires you.”

Well, within 30 minutes of meeting Dawn, everything collided!  As an experienced “senior mom”, the information from our meeting, the stories from the last week, spontaneously, my emotional response to Dawn was identical to the emotional response I had to Partners In Health Founder, Dr. Paul Farmer.  In the book written by Tracy Kidder, “Mountains Beyond Mountains”, Kidder tells the story of the obstacles of Paul Farmer’s childhood and his life work helping the poor Haitians afflicted with Tuberculosis and AIDs.  Although Kidder stresses that his book was not intended for readers to have “moral envy”, you do and are in complete awe of Farmer’s accomplishments.  And I was in awe of Dawn’s accomplishments - accomplishments made in spite of the obstacles of poverty and homelessness.  I told Dawn if you tell your story, not only will you get in these colleges, they will be competing for you.  Dawn is the kind of student that college admission officers dream about.  I told Dawn to “reach for the stars.  You seem like someone Harvard would be interested in.”  It was totally a gut reaction to suggest such a long shot.  Dawn was something special and I believed that anyone who heard her story would be clamoring for her to be a part of their university.

We decided that the NC State and UNC-Chapel Hill applications would be the first applications that Dawn needed to complete and send in since their early decision deadlines were 1 week away.  Completing those 2 plus the common application meant Dawn had a lot of work to do and I was ready to be her handy assistant!

 Senior Year of High School